
Still, despite knowing this and making a conscious effort to change, I still feel an instinctively strong and irate response to perceived unfairness at times. And you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim if you want to access your personal power. You have to heal your pain before you can set out to heal the world. You can’t create positive change from a negative mindset. Grumbling about injustice doesn’t make things just, and the ensuing hostility doesn’t help us effectively address things that need fixing. One day, when I was commiserating with a friend who was upset about a seemingly unfair situation in her life, I wondered: What good does this do us? At least that’s what I thought back then. It wasn’t my fault that I was angry all the time there was just a lot to be bitter about. I bemoaned the injustices of the world because I felt so many befell me. Other times, I victimized myself to avoid taking responsibility-like when I didn’t prepare well and bombed at a community theater audition but attributed my failure to favoritism.Īs an indignant adolescent, I blamed many of my difficult early experiences for the perpetual chip on my shoulder.

Sometimes I was legitimately wronged-like when I was a kid and an adult in my life regularly told people lies about me, seemingly to justify her disdain and mistreatment.


Many times in the past, I’ve complained that things weren’t fair. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit
